The Three Main Reasons Why Macs Suck (Part 3)

So yeah, I got a Mac. And I have some new reasons why Macs suck. I fucking hate this stupid ass thing. I’m about ready to literally throw it in the trash and get a Surface Pro XP, those things are awesome! My friend has one and there are a million apps for it!

I think Macs suck hard and here are more reasons to not buy one and avoid them at all costs.

First things first, no games! Where are the games on this thing? I googled “games mac” on bing and what came back was shocking: nothing. 0 results.

What the fuck Apple? If the smooth talking techno dude with the beard at the the Apple store had told me there were no games for it, I would have told him to shove it. I need my damn minesweeper! How else am I supposed to distract my children from my failed marriage?

Second, Steve Jobs is seriously a scary man. It’s a miracle of modern wizardry they are able to infuse the “essence” of Steve Jobs into every motherboard Apple manufactures.

For example, did you know the stupid iPhone in your pocket contains approximately a trillionth of the ashes of Steve Jobs? I didn’t either until one night I was bored of watching “The OC” and eating ice cream. I decided to do some research on the internet.

What I found discussed me.

One of the last wishes of Steve Jobs was to be inside every Apple device moving forward. Tim Ive had to make it possible by court order. Seriously?

Third and final, it won’t sync with my IBM Simon. How the hell am I supposed to put music on it? Where do I manage my contacts? Where’s the freaking manual? The guy said you could just hook it up to iTunes and it would sync! My wife has been yelling at me for weeks because she can’t listen to IceJJFish in the car.

I don’t even drive a car!

In conclusion, Apple hasn’t figured it out, even after all these years. And that’s why macs suck. I just vowed to throw away this laptop if I hit submit. So, if you see this article published, I’ve thrown away a brand new Apple Air Chromebook.

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bluedamage

Do you ever stop to think about how lucky you are to be alive?

6 thoughts on “The Three Main Reasons Why Macs Suck (Part 3)”

  1. sounds like some pretty serious issues but i program in cobalt so I should be able to help. have you tried connecting an etch-a-sketch to it? i taped an xlr cable to my mac stuck the other end on my etch-a-sketch with some gum and it connected right up. I had to dial in all my contacts and i have to carry it around very slowly and avoid speed bumps but now I don’t lose anything!

  2. seriousy? how did you even come up witht this shit? unsurprized there are no comment.

  3. This is bullshit I can play a ton of games on my mac I was just doing it!!!

  4. Ha! Excellent. About time you did a part three.
    I see The Stupid is still strong after all these years and the word parody is still missing from some people’s vocabularies.

  5. Are there convertible Macs that can be turned into windows pcs and vice versa?

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