A hip new trend is rapidly growing through Americaâ€™s cool young religious circles these days called Faith Base Jumping. It is a solo competition event where the pious athletes throw themselves off of a cliff or tall building and while plummeting to the earth below they pray their ass off in the hope that Jesus himself will whisk them away to safety. Winners are decided by the competitorâ€™s ability to beat the clock and reason.
One prospective jumper was overheard saying, â€œThose other guys are evangelical idiots. They think faith alone will trick Jesus into catching them. Not us Catholics, weâ€™ll have faith in him to build us some parachutes or something, you know, because he was a carpenter, but we know weâ€™ll still have to do some of the work to be saved.â€ He was later heard to say, “Weee, SPLAT!” Thus adding yet another subtle layer of confusion to the classic christian argument of faith alone VS. faith and good works.
Neither the one, nor the three Christian gods were available for comment, but due to the eerie similarity that Faith Base Jumping has with one of Satan’s temptations of Christ, we here at Blue Damage believe it to be frowned upon.