Why The iPod Nano Sucks

The Ipod Nano Killed My Inner ChildAll over the world, people are very impressed with the latest Apple gadget, the little brother of the iPod, the iPod Nano. It’s very cool looking at first, but, looks can be decieving, huh Marc Summers? Here at Blue Damage Headquaters we were given an opportunity to try one out and give a review for our dedicated readers. Without further ado, here is why the iPod Nano Sucks (and it does a lot).

First of all, since it is so small you can’t even fit cds in it! How are we supposed to play music on this device without CDs? It just doesn’t make sense. We spent at least 3 hours trying to insert a CD into the iPod Nano, but, we were largely unsuccessful. We did what any person having trouble would do, we loaded up our copy of the internets and started searching. We found some solutions such as waving the compact disk counter-clockwise over the iPod in an attempt to transfer the files. Also, we tryed plugging our Sony Walkman (which plays CDs correctly) into the iPod to “record” the songs on the iPod. Both solutions were ultimately unsuccessful and we are still searching.

Secondly, it doesn’t fit in your pockets… in a pair of pants without pockets! How are we supposed to put it in our pocket if our pants do not have pockets! A few of our investigators at the office tried scotch taping the iPod Nano to our taint, but, it was very uncomfortable. The removal was even worse. It would be much more innovative if they created some sort of velcro that could attach to human skin. That way, we could place it anywhere on our bodies.

Finally, we had to load iTunes onto our Windows 3.1 machines here to “configure” the iPod. After waiting for what seemed to be 3 hours on a dialup connection, we tried to install iTunes. Big mistake. Before we knew it, it was closing programs left and right, shredding papers lying around the desk in a tornado-like fashion and causing the printers in the room to give us dirty looks and whisper anti-Semitics at us. It also started deleting our copies of the internets on the computer. This brought up an interesting fact. Apparently, the iPod Nano can delete internets unlike Mac computers which cannot delete or connect to the internet.

If this this whole review process wasn’t bad enough, Andrea Barber stopped in to see what the commotion was all about several times. All in all, the staff at Blue Damage had a terrible experience with the iPod Nano. For these reasons the iPod Nano sucks really hard. However, there are many other reasons that we didn’t even have time to cover today as we have a round table discussion on how to solve Global Warming.

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62 thoughts on “Why The iPod Nano Sucks”

  1. very funny review

    but i still really want one of these

    i like the black the best im just worried that it would snap in my pocket if i leaned to far forward to tie my shoelace or something

    but thats just me being paranoid

    i cant see people wanting the ipod mini or shuffle now

    no wonder there so eager to give them away with walkers crisps?

  2. ARSTECHNICA had a review on their site about the durability of the Nano. They sat on it, threw it out of moving cars (at 50mph), ran over it several times with a car, and dropped it from various heights. Still the Nano rocked on!!

    Unfortunately, they could not fit a CD into the Nano either 🙂

  3. @ Dave, the mini and shuffle are going for really cheap right now. I couldn’t see buying one with these out.

    @ Oddman, I read that one too. It was a pretty good read! Yeah, I’ve heard people actually claim that you’re not supposed to put CDs in the iPod. Idiots I tell ya!


  4. What about a casette tape? Can you fit one of those in there? I can’t afford a CD player yet but I was thinking about getting an iPod Nana for my Halloween party (to impress the chics). It can’t cost that much if it don’t play CD’s, right? What’s this thing going for, twenty bucks? If it’s any more than that it better shoot lasers in cool patterns like the middle finger or something so I can drive my cat nuts.

  5. Apparently, the lasers included in the iPod Nano project images of Karl Rove feasting on the innocent souls of kittens.

    Also, I’ve received confirmation from Steve Jobs that the iPod Nano can play cassettes and vinyl! I haven’t figure out how to play them yet, but, I will follow up as soon as I get more information.

  6. I don’t see what all the problems are, I broke up my favorite cd (Offspring Americana) and crammed it in there no problem. Now I just have to figure out how to access it. I’ll figure that one out and let you know how to do it.

  7. Got mine a few weeks ago, love the hell out of it. 🙂 The only thing that REALLy irks me is that some dorks have complained to Apple about the “screen cracking” and such. HELLO: it is a damn small piece of equipment, and if you really plan on just cramming it in your back pocket and sitting your fat ass down on it, it will indeed crack!

    (Just my 2 cents),

  8. the iPod nano does not exist!

    i keep seeing ads and reviews for it but all the stores are sold out. my friend went to the Mac store in SoHo and they didn’t even have one on display!!!

    admit it. have any of you even seen one?

    it’s just a marketing ploy.

  9. Most Apple users are fat, so therefore the iPod Nana is not the way to go. They’ll break it. Might I suggest an old fashioned ghetto blaster? Plus, you’ll lose weight by carrying it around and joining a breakdancing crew.
    By the way, don’t you think the iPod is going to be the death of breakdancing crews? I mean, if you can’t blare Jam On It by Newcleus, then it’ll just look very odd. Picture a group of people breakdancing whilst listening to iPods (you get the iPod commercial, basically)….

  10. I concur FKAM, we need more breakdancing crews. Apple needs to make the iBoombox.

    I’m seriously trying to learn right now, but, it’s really hard. I can pop and lock though. Check these breakdancing videos out.

  11. Wow. That was really really unfunny.

    I like satire, but this was just stupid. I mean really really really stupid, but not the slightest bit humorous.

  12. Here’s a bit of history for you. The Inventor Of Pop and Lock: http://www.popandlock.com/inventor.html

    But seriously, yeah breakdancing is pretty hard. I am nowhere near being “good” at it (I have really messed up ankle joints, so I can’t do stuff like that). But I am a huge fan of it. I even went to see both ‘Breakin’ movies in the theatre when I was little.

    iPods are good for stealing data. But when it comes to music, I want a box so big they can hear it for 3 counties. Rattles the windows on the bus and stuff….

  13. 😆 That was funny as hell.

    That’s awesome, good movies. I need to watch those again, soon. I wish I had started when I was really young, it would be a lot easier to do the shit now. I’m always envious when a circle starts at a club / show.

  14. the main point as it its point not is that the regretable thing
    is to have somebody coming home at the very least and find
    that the results are not expected, Mailman comes in,
    mail man comes out and there you have it,
    that is all i have to say

  15. I totally agree! About all iPods. I just purchased an iPod video and the DVD just wouldn’t go in it! Waving didn’t work 🙁 And my internets are on a coffee break, so I can’t look it up. I’m surfing this on my mac, which can’t access the internets anyway so it doesn’t matter.

  16. The ipod nano is crap and rubish a friend of mine *had* one, one day he put it in his bag and then he lent against his bag. later he went to get his nanno out and it had SNAPPED it was sad how crap it was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. No offense but, what a waste of time. First I spent like a minute and a half reading a whole article about really stupid Nano problems, and now I spent a minute typing this. I don’t know who’s stupider, me or the author. Have a nice day.

  18. Okay you guys are way beyond stupid if you seriously think that you can put a c-d on to the ipod.
    you have to rip the c-d on to the computer and then put it on the nanno. Its common scene. I am only 16 and I know how to do this. common seriously.

    Second part of your article, they make cases so you can place the ipod into the holder and then you clip it on to a shirt or pants or any clothing.

    Third part of your article,
    Its called spy where. Or any kind of virus protection. My dad works with computers. I can take one apart and put it back together. That just means your computers really sucked. It hasn’t hurt my computer or my boyfriends.

    so in conclusion you should maybe learn a little bit more about technology before you start bagging on things.
    Maybe they where a little to high Tec for you guys.
    Seriously this web site is pointless. Your just wasting you money.
    Yeah maybe an ipod takes so time to do things with it but you know what its worth it in the end.

    Anyone who read this please e-mail me an tell me what you think. I feel as if I am proving something strong.

  19. Nicole, this iPod Nano thing is really hard to operate. I wish Apple would make things with less options, I just can’t handle it! I get lost in the sheer amount of advanced setting that the thing has. I’ve since sold the iPod Nano and purchased a body massage machine. It’s freaking ridiculous!!111!

  20. hey nicole,
    the whole point of this website was for people to be stupid and make others laugh (or just to have fun for themselves). u couldn’t have taken this stuff seriously! honestly, it only makes u look like an airhead for not realizing that they were kidding and for trying to explain to these guys how to put music in a nano. they know that u need to upload music. they aren’t stupid. they are just having fun. chill.

  21. Actually IPods do suck, no joke there. They believe “think differently” is an excuse to go out of their way to make a device and software so unfriendly that it makes this Nicole chick look smart.

  22. The only thing about my new Nanno i don’t understand is the leather case that comes with it.You must take it out of the case to use it as the controls and screen are not visible when in it.It also scratches very easily but found that a cream car polish will take the scratches out./Chopper

  23. Hehehe, my friend had a nano, but she traded with someone else for those big chunky ones. They’re funny.

  24. i have a Ipod nano .. & it sucks … it just froze up on me after 3 monthez that i bought it … it wont work anymore !!!!!!! .. now i have to go back to thta stupid “future shop” store & see what the hell iz wrong with it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  25. hey Aumta, u know that all ipods got guaranty on it for 1 year so isnt easier to go to the place were u bort it from and tell them that u got problems with ipod .
    comen sence girl, chill out

  26. auctually ipod nano are really cool, easy to use and pretty compact, but there is just one problem with it , its MONEY, dats so excpencive, damn, $350 for 3GB ipod, dat sucks.

  27. haha this was funny, and yes the ipod nano sucks, don’t get one, it’s not worth all the money and it hardly holds any music is freakin stinks, and my screen cracked for like no reason, so you’re better off just getting one of the cheap used big fat white ones, because they’re cheaper and hold like a mazillion songs
    so yeah

  28. all ipods blow dick u can only get songs from itunes which sucks ass in the first place

  29. iPod Nano stinks!!

    I bought it for more memory, but it sucks! I’m getting my money back.

    It is a PAIN IN THE Arce!

    I am so much happier with generic MP3 players.

    “Yeah, but you can’t watch videos on those!” Who the hell cares, if I can’t do squat?

    iTunes takes so much additional hard drive space, because it copies your music library and converts all your files.

    After waiting for HOURS for the conversion, you can’t do anything. You can’t organize your files, rename them, etc.

    Do you want to add a single file to your iPod? Nope, you can’t do that! “Why the hell would you want to do that? That’s crazy!”

    There was some sort of error because a file was missing during the synchronization, so all my files couldn’t be uploaded into the iPod. But that didn’t stop the damn thing from erasing the 500+ files that were already on my iPod, which iTunes does automatically before uploading anything.

    Other MP3 players work like external storage devices. Want to add, a file? You can do that. Want to delete a file? You can do that. Want to separate your files into folder? You can do that. Want to rename a file, such as adding the title to an “unknown” track? Want to add a group of files for a special purpose (practice dancing, painting background music, road trip, etc.) without deleting all other files, only to upload them later again? You can do all that. Most MP3 players even come with built-in radios.

    Essentially, iPod is the most expensive piece of scrap out there. I know you love your iPod, it’s small and fancy, but it is NOT USER FRIENDLY!

  30. the nano doesnt suck, ive had mine for 9 months now and its been workng the same as when i bought it its never froze on me b4 or anything like dat, yall just dont know how to take care of things!! and my nano is the old black kind not those new colored ones

  31. IPOD NANO RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! any one of u guyz that think they suck,GO TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!

  32. ipod nano’s don’t suck.u guyz just DON’T know how to take care of stuff.im 10,i had my siver one for 3 MONTHS!!!u guyz are WAY older than me and you don’t even know how to take care of it!!!!HA!!!!!enywayz,you SHOULD get one.it has good memory,good hearing quality,awsume battarry life,charges easily and quick and it just rocks.don’t just say ”she’s 10.she wouldn’t know…” cuz i do!!!!!!GET IT AND YOU WON’T REGRET IT!!!! and there not BIG like movie ipod and those…and the shuffle ‘aint bad but i prefure a screen…so, my point iz IT DOSN’T SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  33. i put a toilet in my nano and ya know what it worked fine i need to clean it out every week though.

  34. hell i wipe my ass hole with ipod nanos they work great!!!!!! Better then money or rabbits

  35. I have an ipod nano. Beilive it or not people actually buy these things so they don’t have to carry around those stupid Walkman’s everywhere they go. it’s very durable. The only reason one would break would be from some dumbass fiddleing with the screen or not holding on tight enough. Durr. Ipod has also got a lot of accories to prevent this from happening, take for instace…the rubber case, if it rains your ipod will stay dry, and if you are a retard, and drop it, then it has a lesser chance of breaking. this is also why apple provided a 1 year warranty. So if you own an ipod rule #1
    Don’t touch the screen.
    Don’t drop you ipod
    Don’t let anyone but you touch the ipod.

  36. I forgot to metion one little glitch in your research.
    You were saying something about the walkman then you went on to saying “how are we supposed to put the ipod in our pockets?”
    Well how the hell are you going to put the walkman in your pocket?!?!?!?!?!

  37. i’ve had my 4gb black ipod nano for 1year and a bit since 2005, and i can tell you the ipod nano sucks crap. 1000 songs my ass, mine can only store 800 songs and where the hell did the other 300mb of my memory go? battery life sucks shit 4-5 hours and its dead and only if i have the backlight on for a short period of time! don’t waste your money, if you can buy the ipod video or even better buy a creative.

  38. I had thought my next computer would be an Apple, until i made the mistake of buying a nano. Frankly, i’m not used to working with things that work this poorly. Some of my problems include:
    1) When I had 38 songs loaded, I set it to shuffle the songs. It did this correctly the first time. The second time I set it to do this, it only played 8 songs before stopping (battery was still fully charged). The third time I tried to get it to do this, it played four songs, then started playing a random chapter from an audio book I had loaded. The fourth time I tried to get it to shuffle it played two songs then stopped.
    2) When I had 72 songs loaded, I set it to play the songs. 34 songs had dropped out and only 38 songs remained.
    4) Last week, I turned the Nano on and began scrolling through the menus to set it up to shuffle through the songs in the Rock genre. I selected All. At this point, it just froze up. The screen was still lit up and All was still highlighted. I tried pressing every button and nothing happened. I couldn’t even turn it off. I tried moving the lock button back and forth several times but that didn’t help either. I checked on it over the next two hours. The screen was still lit up. I again tried pressing every button but still could not get it to do anything.
    I really wish i had not wasted $400 on this and acceessories

  39. the only thing seriously wrong with these things;
    very, very easy to lose. there’s $200 dollars in mp3-ness somewhere under my bed right now. damn it.

  40. To mike— If you click on a song and then press ctrl and a it will pick all songs then you can right click and convert to ACC which should reduce the size of all the files. For the battery all you have to do is keep it on shuffle and not change songs all the time and it will work for 20 hours

  41. Hating your ipod is normal. You are not alone. Telling us about your hate will make you feel better. Join us and spread the ipod hate around the world!

  42. Good thing that the new one is better. That picture scares me. I, being an Apple fan, just hope that the new design fixes more than that. But still, who doesn’t wear pants with pockets! I understand shorts with no pockets, but pants? It happens.

  43. Please stop badmouthing the ipod nano stop hating cause apple thought of it before u did i have an ipod nano and it works perfect it’s the best thing that has everr happened to techology it’s expensive yes and for heaven’s sake if you hate ur ipod so much y don’t you just buy something different and stop complaing the world is full of bigger problems than a stupid device. Further more that ipod u have there in the picture is not an ipod nano that is smaller than a nano that’s the earlier set of ipods they ever made and stop hating cause ipods are the greatest things there is. HATERZ

  44. i have one its kinda crappy it freezes and locks up but chargers suck for it

  45. woooooooooowwwwwwww. That is the stupidest thing i have ever heard. I have an ipod nano, i can easily download music onto mine, it weighs like 1 10th of a pound, so just carry it in your hands, weaklings. Obviously these people no nothing about technology, this is one of the dumbest things I’ve read in my entire life.

  46. man, its obvious that u dont get how to put music on them ipods. try a few 8-track tapes and a blender. works for me!

  47. My sister wants one of these, but I think they suck. I want a iPod Touch. 😛

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