Steve Widdle, former front man for the emo band “Forgive All the Blood,” died last week of undisclosed causes. Authorities would not release any information regarding his death. However, our team of investigators have found evidence that this wasn’t related to disease, badgers or even an accident–it was caused by being too Emo. We interviewed a couple of his close friends to find out more.
“At first, it was just a little bit of Dashboard Confessional here and there,” says his best friend and bassist Tom Ronalds. “You know, he was just about the music and having fun.” Tom told us that things quickly got out of hand right before his eyes.
“All of the sudden, he was straight edge, vegan, a goofy dresser and an all around pain in the ass. He never wanted to party, all he wanted to do was sit around and act emo. I don’t want to go see Yellowcard, they are sellouts, let’s wear eyeliner, let’s buy those thick ass black framed glasses even though we have 20/20 vision. What the F#%$! He then started to refuse to hang out with us after our shows to go home and cry his eyeliner away. I thought he was just acting Goth, but he got very offended when I would call him that. He would make outrageous claims like he invented emo and that everyone was ripping off his melodies.” Tom told us.
Mary Finkle, ex-girlfriend of Steve, confided, “I think it was because his shirts were too tight. He got so skinny from being a vegan that he could fit into children’s clothing. It became an obsession for him, wondering how small of a shirt he could fit into. The day I realized there was a problem was when he was listening to this stuff called Faded Nimbus [the band that basically started emo] which is the most insane emocore I’ve ever heard. It’s just basically crying and some guitar chords every once and a while. It’s really underground.”
Mary was the unfortunate one to find Steve’s body. She hinted at the fact he was listening to some ridiculously emo music, had X’s on both of his hands and had been crying his eyeliner away. We aren’t trying to say that being emo killed Steve, we are just supplying you the facts.
If you feel that you or someone you know is too emo, please do something about it before it’s too late.